I’ve been invited to a same-sex wedding. Should I attend? Branch, J. A. (2021). 50 Ethical Questions: Biblical Wisdom for Confusing Times (p. 213). Lexham Press.



Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

Ephesians 4:15

Defining the Issue

The legalisation of same-sex marriage presents Christians with new dilemmas. It is not uncommon for friends, family members, or coworkers to invite Christians to a same-sex wedding or a wedding shower. Should Christians who disagree with the morality of same-sex marriage attend such events?

Biblical Ethical Principles

Scripture clearly teaches that homosexual relationships are sinful (see chapter 40). Nevertheless, Christians are called to love our homosexual neighbours (Matthew 22:37–40), but such love does not entail approval of everything they choose to do. 


We are always called to share the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), including the truth about sexual ethics. Regardless of how kind and gracious we attempt to be in expressing a difference of opinion with nonbelievers, Christian ethics may be disparaged, misrepresented, and misunderstood by our neighbours (1 Peter 4:4). When this happens, Jesus reminds us to “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27).


How should Christians relate to sexually immoral people? In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul warns Christians about the dangers of close relationships with unrepentant sexually immoral people, especially such people who claim to be Christian (1 Corinthians 5:9, 11). 


At the same time, Paul acknowledges the impossibility of avoiding any contact with sexually immoral people (1 Corinthians 5:10). Living in a world characterised by sexual immorality requires godly discernment and maintenance of healthy boundaries.

Suggested Moral Stance

Biblically informed Christians should agree that a same-sex wedding is actually not a wedding from God’s perspective, but a mimicry of the real thing. We should grieve for people who believe violating God’s commands is the path toward a peaceful and better life.


It seems two different responses are open to Christians invited to a same-sex wedding. Some Christians may decide to attend even though they think the union is sinful. 


They may desire to keep lines of communication open in order to share the gospel of Jesus Christ, fearing that refusal to attend the wedding will destroy any hope of future communication. Christians who do so should consider carefully whether or not their attendance sends the message of moral approval for something God says should not be done.


Other Christians may decide that attending a same-sex wedding is equivalent to endorsing sexual immorality and thus choose not to attend, lest their attendance imply their moral approval of the wedding. Christians adopting this stance must remember to do so out of love for the Lord Jesus and the people involved, and not out of self-righteousness.


Christians from either perspective must keep in mind that there is a cost for following Christ. All Christians will be faced with the temptation to compromise for the sake of getting along with the world. James 4:4 cautions us in very strong terms, “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” Following Jesus often means we will simply be out of step with the world.

Are we being hateful when we decline an invitation to a same-sex wedding? A firm conviction based on the Bible is not hatred, but some Christians have stood for a biblical moral stance in a manner that does not reflect biblical compassion. 


When making a decision whether to attend a same-sex wedding, all Christians should keep in mind that Ephesians 4:15 admonishes us to speak the truth in love. The truth, however unpopular, is that God has designed marriage for one man and one woman, and a same-sex marriage is not a marriage. 


Sharing truth should always be done in love, however, which requires us to consider the context of our relationship, the place and timing of our comments, and the tone and attitude we bring to the discussion. Christians never have the luxury of reacting in an unkind manner, even when others attack us for our convictions.


 

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