Church expectations same-sex attraction
I do not want to suggest that Christians who experience same-sex attraction cannot experience some reduction in it over time, as that has been reported by some who have had that as their goal.
Some find that they can marry heterosexually.84
However, the church would do well to expand the vision of the Christian who is navigating sexual identity issues beyond the expectation of complete heterosexuality or the expectation of heterosexual marriage, even if a modest number of believers do experience a more significant shift.
Many others will not experience the same degree of shift, and a Christian’s measure of spiritual depth and maturity does not hinge on the eradication of same-sex attraction or an increase in attraction to the opposite sex.
If a believer does not experience heterosexuality or a significant reduction in homosexual attractions, he or she has much to experience in the life of the church and in a personal walk with God.
For all believers, single and married, heterosexual and homosexual, there is a more fundamental consideration: that we live our lives faithfully before God, committing ourselves to him and growing through the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives to greater Christlikeness.
We do this in the context of our daily struggles, becoming better stewards of our sexuality, trusting God and growing in faith, recognising that we can see our lives in the context of God’s sovereign and redemptive plan.
84 Mark A. Yarhouse, Lisa M. Pawlowski, and Erica S. N. Tan, “Intact Marriages in Which One Partner Dis-Identifies with Experiences of Same-Sex Attraction,” American Journal of Family Therapy 31 (2003): 369–88; Mark A. Yarhouse and Robin L. Seymore, “Intact Marriages in Which One Partner Dis-Identifies with Experiences of Same-Sex Attraction: A Follow-up Study,” American Journal of Family Therapy 34 (2006): 1–11; Mark A. Yarhouse, Christine C. Gow, and Edward B. Davis, “Intact Marriages in Which One Partner Experiences Same-Sex Attraction: A Five-Year Follow-up Study,” The Family Journal 17.4 (2009): 329–34.
Yarhouse, M. A. (2022). How Should We Think about Homosexuality? (D. A. Carson, Ed.; pp. 91–93). Lexham Press.
Yarhouse, M. A. (2022). How Should We Think about Homosexuality? (D. A. Carson, Ed.; pp. 91–93). Lexham Press.
