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Showing posts with the label gay loneliness

Once gay

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My life before I pursued a change in my sexuality was what I would call "a hot mess.” Lonely, empty, unhappy, shackled, and unloved were the ways I felt for eight years after I came out. The more unhappy I was, the worse it got. My life was so consumed by homosexuality, drugs, and liquor that I wouldn’t give the time of day to my family. Having been raised in a strong Christian home, I felt a deep conflict between what I had known to be good and right, and the life I was living. I woke up hungover on June 11th, 2016, after a night of drinking and drug use. That evening my friends and I went to Pulse, a club in Orlando. At 2:02 a.m. everything changed. While saying our goodbyes, we heard a big POP! I dropped my drink, realizing the sounds were gunshots. As we ran, I was shot several times and fell down, pulling my friends with me. Struggling to stand back up, I felt a footstep behind my left leg and heard a loud snap which resulted in my left femur breaking. I couldn’t move or eve...