If you think the gay ‘marriage’ fight is over, you don’t understand the nature of the war
Up until now, I’ve used only secular arguments
involving logic, reason, and experience to address the issue of same-sex
marriage. That’s how I first came to think about the issue. But as I explained at Public Discourse last
year, once I began thinking, reasoning, and
examining my life, an extraordinary thing happened: I couldn’t stop. Reason led
me to acknowledge natural law, which led me to begin rejecting some of my
former ways of thinking and acting. Reason then led me to recognize God.
I am now a Christian, and even though I am
same-sex attracted—or, more likely, because I
am same-sex attracted—I marvel at the extraordinary significance of marriage in
God’s eternal plan. Marriage is under siege because it stands at the heart of
the Good News of the Gospel.
I am neither a philosopher nor a theologian,
and I possess no advanced degree, but I try to be an informed observer and
reasoning contributor as best I can. As a former apologist for the sexual
revolution, and as a gay man who once promoted same-sex marriage,
here's what I’ve concluded.
No matter what you read or hear, the heart of
the battle over the redefinition of marriage and genderlessness in culture is
not found in our courts, legislatures, ballot boxes, or media. This is not a
tug of war between political parties, between left and right, conservative and
liberal. Likewise, this is not a battle of “gay versus straight.” And while
focusing on religious liberty is an absolutely necessary pursuit, if it stands
by itself, it too misses the mark.
Taken as a whole, this is a war of one kingdom
against another. At its heart, this is a spiritual battle.
Accepting this as a spiritual battle has
profound personal ramifications. We must each examine and deal with our own
spiritual passivity and culpability in casually embracing the ways of the
world. Each of us bears responsibility. This battle hinges on one thing: the
creation of a vibrant marriage culture based on the participation of millions
of individuals who value and commit themselves to the spiritual truth about
marriage. These people must commit themselves not only to the structural,
traditional aspects of marriage, but also to its vitally important spiritual
component. The future rests on our shoulders—yours and mine.
Many now chide those of us who oppose the
notion of same-sex marriage, telling us, “The battle over marriage has been
decided. Move on.” And for the time being, as a political reality, this may be
true. However, there is a much larger, far more important reality that must be
acknowledged: spiritual reality. While the political battle may be over for a
brief time, the spiritual battle is just beginning.
The Swift Shift from Equal Rights
to Same-Sex Marriage
It wasn’t so long ago that LGBT activists like
me were fighting for “equal rights.” We only wanted the benefits that accrue to
married couples to be available to us as well. But then suddenly, with what
seemed like lightning speed, the discussion changed. The battle was no longer
for rights and benefits, the battle was over a very familiar eight-letter
word: “marriage.”
As recently as 2010, even the Washington Post was
pushing for civil unions rather than marriage for same-sex couples:
Justice
and simple decency require that same-sex couples be afforded the same legal
protections and benefits of marriage that are now, with a few exceptions,
reserved for heterosexual couples … . But the group [Equality
Maryland] and its lawmaker allies are shortsighted to refuse to consider—let
alone accept—anything short of full marriage equality. … Lawmakers
who back this provision should at least consider whether domestic partnerships
or civil unions might stand a better chance of passage.
There is a surprising element of tyranny to
all this. Men and women who dare reveal their reservations about the notion of
same-sex marriage are publicly chastised and dealt swift punishments. Even the
most powerful, high-profile titans of technology, medicine, and Wall Street are
not immune. And everyday main-street business owners—florists, bakers,
photographers, and bed-and-breakfast proprietors—are being forced to relinquish
their reason, their intellect, and their consciences in order to comply with
the new, superiordefinition
of marriage.
Where does this tyranny, this powerful fury,
this fierce, unearthly will to enforce such a novel idea come from? Why is
same-sex marriage appearing in our nation and, in fact, all around the world so
suddenly? Just a few years ago it was a laughable, ludicrous idea. Why is this
strange new trajectory gripping the planet, and at such a frenetic pace?
The Heart of the Problem: Us
What we now see is occurring because
Christians have allowed our own minds to become dull, darkened, and depraved.
We’ve allowed this to happen, not out of malice toward God or bad intentions,
but because our passive minds have resulted in passive lives and a weakened,
impotent, wandering, and often confusing and contradictory witness to the
Gospel and the life of Christ within.
Simply put, the world has done a better job of
evangelizing us to its ways than we have of evangelizing the world to the
magnificent good news of the Gospel.
Upholding constitutional rights and the human
dignity of those who are same-sex attracted is a matter of basic human decency.
But same-sex marriage is something completely different. As a gay man, allow me
to make what is perhaps a startling declaration: same-sex marriage is a great
coup for the devil, far greater than individual homosexual acts or relationships
ever were or ever could be. Same-sex marriage mocks Christ’s relationship with
his Bride, the Church. That is the source of the fury being hurled at those who
speak out against same-sex marriage.
Of course, only a very few are true believers
in the quest to establish same-sex marriage. The vast majority of supporters
are extremely passive. Most people would rather sidestep the issue completely,
and—either through silence or misguided empathy—lend their weak support for
something that deep in their guts they know is not right. But Satan is
satisfied with our cooperation, whether it is willful or passive.
He enlists men and woman to embrace a lie, fooling them into believing they are
on a righteous quest to vindicate the “right side of history.”
It is impossible to grasp the significance of
this battle unless it is viewed from a heavenly, not earthly, perspective.
Marriage represents to humanity a taste of heaven, a blueprint of the eternity
that awaits all who belong to Jesus Christ. Complementarity has never been
incidental to God’s eternal plan. It is central, revealing the intentions of
the heart of God. In fact, its existence informs us of God’s spousal love for
His people.
With complementarity evacuated
from the language of our culture and expunged from our minds, it is almost
impossible to perceive the fullness of God’s purposes.
Passivity is Capitulation
It is certainly not the intent of most gay men
and lesbians who wed to mock Christ and his Church. They are merely passive
participants in a larger plan they do not perceive. Self-identified gays and
lesbians are simply fallen human beings—as we all are—pursuing what they
believe to be the key to their own happiness, without understanding what
darkness lies beneath the surface.
The last several decades demonstrate Satan’s
tactics: easy divorce, cohabitation, premarital sex, extramarital sex,
recreational sex, homosexuality, bisexuality, polygyny, polyandry, gender
dysphoria, non-marital childbearing, contraception, abortion, pornography, and
more. All of these work to eviscerate marriage by thoroughly undefining it
through non-conjugal, non-complementary “marriage.”
Please familiarize yourself with the words of
Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, before he became Pope Francis, regarding the
advancement of same-sex marriage in society:
Let’s not
be naive, we’re not talking about a simple political battle; it is a
destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are … talking
about … a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and
deceive the children of God …
This is what we now witness. Every family,
every marriage, every parent, and every child has a stake in this battle, a
battle in which passivity must now be recognized as surrender.
The Narrative Needs to Change:
From Primarily Political to Spiritual
Only love and truth can pry loose the
ice-cold, pernicious death grip of the Sexual Revolution and begin to heal
its victims—as well as those of us who have
been its perpetrators—of all its insidious consequences. And with regard to
love, there is an important, substantial hierarchy:
- Good:
spontaneous human love, which does indeed cover a multitude of sins.
- Better: love
based on natural law, which provides a strong foundation for building a life
and relationships.
- Best:
Divine Love, the Love displayed in the life of the Holy Trinity: Power
Infinite, Wisdom Incomprehensible, Love Unspeakable. This is the Love that
beckons us all, the Love that inspires us to lay down our lives for one
another.
Marriage—the real thing—is an inestimable gift
from God, expressed and experienced in and through complementarity. Marriage is
a bright ensign, beckoning us not only in this world, but preparing us for and
ushering us toward the great eternal wedding feast.
Doug Mainwaring is a marriage and children’s
rights activist. This article is adapted from the introduction to his
forthcoming book, Marriage, Ground Zero: The
Real Battle Dawns. Reprinted with permission
from The
Witherspoon Institute.
