Forgiveness for Homosexual sin
“Why should I be concerned about legalizing gay marriage since it won’t affect me or my family? Why not let them have their homosexual marriages and we will have our heterosexual marriages?”
The reason for concern is the imminent impact of gay marriages in three arenas: family, spiritual and personal.
THE FAMILY ARENA
• Because a man and a woman are different and distinct from one another, they complement and complete each other physically, emotionally and spiritually.
• One of the purposes for marriage is to produce children. Only a husband-wife marriage provides a “natural” way to produce children—the uniting of a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg within her womb.
• The male/female marriage was designed by God to produce and rear children in the ways of the Lord. A same-sex relationship leads to confusion for the children, for it does not give a proper example, nor does it prepare them for their future mate and family.
CONCLUSION:
A marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God—it is physically impossible for homosexuals to become “one” physically in order to produce children because their physical anatomy makes such marvelous oneness utterly impossible!
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother.’ ” (Ephesians 6:1–2)
THE SPIRITUAL ARENA
• The Bible describes marriage only as a union between one man and one woman, not just a commitment or a contract or a sexual relationship between any two consenting adults.
• The Bible describes Jesus as a bridegroom and Christians (the church) as His bride; therefore, the marriage relationship between a man and a woman represents our relationship with Jesus.
• God designed the husband (man) to be the loving leader of the wife (woman), as Jesus is the head of the church. A same-sex relationship cannot show this headship pattern.
“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)
• The marriage relationship between two persons of the opposite sex is a picture to the world of the coming together and the union of two opposites—God and His people, the Creator and His creation.
CONCLUSION:
A marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God. It is physically impossible for homosexuals to represent the dichotomy (the two different parts that make a whole) within the spiritual relationship that Jesus has with every believer—the bridegroom and the bride. (Read Ephesians 5:22–33.)
“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ … Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:18, 22)
THE PERSONAL ARENA
• God has declared that homosexual activity is a sin. Legalizing sinful behavior does not make it less sinful and does not lessen the consequences of that sin.
• God defines marriage as a relationship reserved only for one man and one woman. To go against God’s design can only cause confusion and lead further away from His perfect plan for our lives.
• The person trapped in the homosexual lifestyle does not need a license to descend into deeper bondage through a same-sex marriage. Rather, this person needs earnest prayer and practical help to become free.
• Those who decide to stop living as homosexual couples do not need another hurdle—the hurdle of obtaining a divorce—when they decide to walk in the freedom Christ offers.
CONCLUSION:
The marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God merely “in the name of freedom.” When marriage is redefined in the name of freedom, who is to say that marriage must be limited to two people rather than to three or more? Or why not broaden marriage to include polygamy and marriage to immediate family members? Or why not marriage to an animal or marriage to a child? The truth is: We are never free to redefine marriage when it conflicts with God’s holy standard. To redefine marriage against God’s standard hurts the individual and can lead them further into the bondage of sin.
“Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ ” (John 8:31–32)
Therefore, here are some of the reasons you should be concerned about same-sex marriages:
• They are in direct opposition to God’s established guidelines for how we are to live our lives.
• They are diametrically opposed to what God says constitutes marriage and the family.
• They are a trap to further ensnare men and women into a sinful lifestyle.
• They are a vice, making it harder for gays and lesbians to leave the lifestyle.
• They are a counterfeit, distorting the plain truths of God and promising fulfillment that will never come.
• They are a means for the “father of lies” to deceive people.
Don’t fall into the enemy’s trap or be deceived by his counterfeit logic. Take God at His Word and live according to His way.
“The man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.” (James 1:25)
How to Help a Homosexual
Why do we extend a helping hand to the alcoholic or to the prisoner, yet shun the homosexual? Is there some inner fear or personal inadequacy that condemns and judges this particular sin more than others? God hates all sin, yet He still loves the sinner. The Christian who has the compassion of Christ will extend compassion to homosexuals without condoning their lifestyle. Be available for God to use you in the life of a homosexual as the link to His love and power for victory.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)
• Harbor no judgmental attitude toward a homosexual.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)
• Hear what is being communicated without interruption.
“[There is] a time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7)
• Have unconditional love and acceptance for this special creation of God.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)
• Head the person toward intimacy with God.
“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
• Help the person to see that their true identity is in Jesus Christ.
“To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)
• Hand the person specific Scriptures to memorize.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
• Hedge the person with the protection of God through prayer. (Satan knew that God had put a “hedge” around Job.)
“Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.” (Job 1:10)
• Hold the person, not yourself, responsible for change.
“Each of us will give an account of himself to God.” (Romans 14:12)
HELPFUL HINTS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
No matter how confused or adamant your homosexual loved ones may be, or how inadequate you feel when trying to help them, continue to reach out to them. God will not let your efforts go unrewarded.
“If one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
(James 5:19–20)
Handle difficult, painful conversations calmly and avoid overreacting.
• Create an atmosphere where your loved ones feel the freedom to be completely open with you.
• Don’t communicate condemning attitudes or personal embarrassment.
• Don’t take action that would cause alienation, but rather offer hope and encouragement.
• Communicate your love both verbally and physically, and know that a warm embrace communicates a heart of love, not license to sin.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
Empathize with their pain and take seriously their struggle.
• Realize they have been tormented by conflicted feelings that have led them to wrong conclusions and wrong interactions.
• Listen to them, realizing that they may believe their homosexual orientation is unchangeable, and suggest a joint effort to become educated on the subject.
• Resist the notion that you have been betrayed by them, but instead respect them by extending genuine sympathy and compassion for their feelings.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Let them know in tangible ways that you accept them.
• Understand that they did not ask for their homosexual feelings and only when they give in to them in thought or action do they sin.
• Give unconditional love and acceptance to help them overcome their fear of rejection—especially if they want to share what they may have never told anyone before.
• Do not focus on their sin but focus on their need to be understood, to feel accepted and to have healthy same-sex relationships.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)
Present their need to reject their identity as being “homosexual.”
• You may say, “Reject the lie that you are a homosexual—that homosexuality defines your identity. Let’s work on this together.”
• Lovingly and gently convey the truth that although the word homosexual describes how they have felt, in actuality it describes not who they are, but how they have related.
• Acknowledge that, while we tend to label people by their habitual behavior, their God-given nature is not the nature of a homosexual. There is a huge difference between temptation and behavior—between struggling and sinning.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:4–5)
Freely identify with them by becoming transparent and vulnerable.
• Confide to them some of your own personal weaknesses and struggles, revealing your own human frailties.
• Demonstrate that you care and can feel with them by being vulnerable about your own hurts and by having a dialogue with them, rather than delivering a monologue at them.
• Identify with their pain as you relate to them about your own pain, and ask open ended questions such as, “How long have you been struggling?”
“Mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)
Uphold their dignity by relating to them as persons.
• Remind yourself that your loved ones have not turned into strangers that you don’t know, but are the same persons you have always loved.
• Look at them through God’s eyes of love, and view them as valuable people who need love, truth and compassion.
• Reject the idea that your loved ones have suddenly become perverted, but know that they are people who are believing a lie, people who are being driven by childhood woundedness and misdirected emotions.
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
Look to Jesus and rely on Him and on His victory over evil.
• Realize that there are powerful spiritual forces working to destroy your loved ones, and commit to learning biblically rational and compassionate responses to gay arguments that condone homosexuality.
• Pray with other family members or friends that the Lord’s truth, love and redemption will flow through you to your loved ones.
• Expect your patience and love to be tested by your loved one’s frustration and anger as well as by the lies that come from the homosexual community.
“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)
Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Homosexuality: A Case of Mistaken Identity (pp. 44–49). Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.
The reason for concern is the imminent impact of gay marriages in three arenas: family, spiritual and personal.
THE FAMILY ARENA
• Because a man and a woman are different and distinct from one another, they complement and complete each other physically, emotionally and spiritually.
• One of the purposes for marriage is to produce children. Only a husband-wife marriage provides a “natural” way to produce children—the uniting of a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg within her womb.
• The male/female marriage was designed by God to produce and rear children in the ways of the Lord. A same-sex relationship leads to confusion for the children, for it does not give a proper example, nor does it prepare them for their future mate and family.
CONCLUSION:
A marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God—it is physically impossible for homosexuals to become “one” physically in order to produce children because their physical anatomy makes such marvelous oneness utterly impossible!
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother.’ ” (Ephesians 6:1–2)
THE SPIRITUAL ARENA
• The Bible describes marriage only as a union between one man and one woman, not just a commitment or a contract or a sexual relationship between any two consenting adults.
• The Bible describes Jesus as a bridegroom and Christians (the church) as His bride; therefore, the marriage relationship between a man and a woman represents our relationship with Jesus.
• God designed the husband (man) to be the loving leader of the wife (woman), as Jesus is the head of the church. A same-sex relationship cannot show this headship pattern.
“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)
• The marriage relationship between two persons of the opposite sex is a picture to the world of the coming together and the union of two opposites—God and His people, the Creator and His creation.
CONCLUSION:
A marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God. It is physically impossible for homosexuals to represent the dichotomy (the two different parts that make a whole) within the spiritual relationship that Jesus has with every believer—the bridegroom and the bride. (Read Ephesians 5:22–33.)
“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ … Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:18, 22)
THE PERSONAL ARENA
• God has declared that homosexual activity is a sin. Legalizing sinful behavior does not make it less sinful and does not lessen the consequences of that sin.
• God defines marriage as a relationship reserved only for one man and one woman. To go against God’s design can only cause confusion and lead further away from His perfect plan for our lives.
• The person trapped in the homosexual lifestyle does not need a license to descend into deeper bondage through a same-sex marriage. Rather, this person needs earnest prayer and practical help to become free.
• Those who decide to stop living as homosexual couples do not need another hurdle—the hurdle of obtaining a divorce—when they decide to walk in the freedom Christ offers.
CONCLUSION:
The marriage relationship between two people of the same sex cannot be blessed by God merely “in the name of freedom.” When marriage is redefined in the name of freedom, who is to say that marriage must be limited to two people rather than to three or more? Or why not broaden marriage to include polygamy and marriage to immediate family members? Or why not marriage to an animal or marriage to a child? The truth is: We are never free to redefine marriage when it conflicts with God’s holy standard. To redefine marriage against God’s standard hurts the individual and can lead them further into the bondage of sin.
“Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ ” (John 8:31–32)
Therefore, here are some of the reasons you should be concerned about same-sex marriages:
• They are in direct opposition to God’s established guidelines for how we are to live our lives.
• They are diametrically opposed to what God says constitutes marriage and the family.
• They are a trap to further ensnare men and women into a sinful lifestyle.
• They are a vice, making it harder for gays and lesbians to leave the lifestyle.
• They are a counterfeit, distorting the plain truths of God and promising fulfillment that will never come.
• They are a means for the “father of lies” to deceive people.
Don’t fall into the enemy’s trap or be deceived by his counterfeit logic. Take God at His Word and live according to His way.
“The man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.” (James 1:25)
How to Help a Homosexual
Why do we extend a helping hand to the alcoholic or to the prisoner, yet shun the homosexual? Is there some inner fear or personal inadequacy that condemns and judges this particular sin more than others? God hates all sin, yet He still loves the sinner. The Christian who has the compassion of Christ will extend compassion to homosexuals without condoning their lifestyle. Be available for God to use you in the life of a homosexual as the link to His love and power for victory.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)
• Harbor no judgmental attitude toward a homosexual.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)
• Hear what is being communicated without interruption.
“[There is] a time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7)
• Have unconditional love and acceptance for this special creation of God.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)
• Head the person toward intimacy with God.
“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
• Help the person to see that their true identity is in Jesus Christ.
“To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)
• Hand the person specific Scriptures to memorize.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
• Hedge the person with the protection of God through prayer. (Satan knew that God had put a “hedge” around Job.)
“Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.” (Job 1:10)
• Hold the person, not yourself, responsible for change.
“Each of us will give an account of himself to God.” (Romans 14:12)
HELPFUL HINTS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
No matter how confused or adamant your homosexual loved ones may be, or how inadequate you feel when trying to help them, continue to reach out to them. God will not let your efforts go unrewarded.
“If one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
(James 5:19–20)
Handle difficult, painful conversations calmly and avoid overreacting.
• Create an atmosphere where your loved ones feel the freedom to be completely open with you.
• Don’t communicate condemning attitudes or personal embarrassment.
• Don’t take action that would cause alienation, but rather offer hope and encouragement.
• Communicate your love both verbally and physically, and know that a warm embrace communicates a heart of love, not license to sin.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
Empathize with their pain and take seriously their struggle.
• Realize they have been tormented by conflicted feelings that have led them to wrong conclusions and wrong interactions.
• Listen to them, realizing that they may believe their homosexual orientation is unchangeable, and suggest a joint effort to become educated on the subject.
• Resist the notion that you have been betrayed by them, but instead respect them by extending genuine sympathy and compassion for their feelings.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Let them know in tangible ways that you accept them.
• Understand that they did not ask for their homosexual feelings and only when they give in to them in thought or action do they sin.
• Give unconditional love and acceptance to help them overcome their fear of rejection—especially if they want to share what they may have never told anyone before.
• Do not focus on their sin but focus on their need to be understood, to feel accepted and to have healthy same-sex relationships.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7)
Present their need to reject their identity as being “homosexual.”
• You may say, “Reject the lie that you are a homosexual—that homosexuality defines your identity. Let’s work on this together.”
• Lovingly and gently convey the truth that although the word homosexual describes how they have felt, in actuality it describes not who they are, but how they have related.
• Acknowledge that, while we tend to label people by their habitual behavior, their God-given nature is not the nature of a homosexual. There is a huge difference between temptation and behavior—between struggling and sinning.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:4–5)
Freely identify with them by becoming transparent and vulnerable.
• Confide to them some of your own personal weaknesses and struggles, revealing your own human frailties.
• Demonstrate that you care and can feel with them by being vulnerable about your own hurts and by having a dialogue with them, rather than delivering a monologue at them.
• Identify with their pain as you relate to them about your own pain, and ask open ended questions such as, “How long have you been struggling?”
“Mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)
Uphold their dignity by relating to them as persons.
• Remind yourself that your loved ones have not turned into strangers that you don’t know, but are the same persons you have always loved.
• Look at them through God’s eyes of love, and view them as valuable people who need love, truth and compassion.
• Reject the idea that your loved ones have suddenly become perverted, but know that they are people who are believing a lie, people who are being driven by childhood woundedness and misdirected emotions.
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
Look to Jesus and rely on Him and on His victory over evil.
• Realize that there are powerful spiritual forces working to destroy your loved ones, and commit to learning biblically rational and compassionate responses to gay arguments that condone homosexuality.
• Pray with other family members or friends that the Lord’s truth, love and redemption will flow through you to your loved ones.
• Expect your patience and love to be tested by your loved one’s frustration and anger as well as by the lies that come from the homosexual community.
“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)
Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Homosexuality: A Case of Mistaken Identity (pp. 44–49). Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.
