The unspoken tragedy of the Orlando massacre
In responding to the Orlando massacre at
a same-sex nightclub, Bishop Robert Lynch of the Diocese of St. Petersburg
found religion, including Catholicism, responsible for the slaughter. He wrote,
“sadly it is religion, including our own, which targets, mostly verbally, and
also often breeds contempt for gays, lesbians and transgender people.” And he
is right that we were wrong; but he is right for the wrong reason. Our contempt
was not in words spoken but in those left unsaid.
To hold
someone in contempt is to look down on him or her as somehow less worthy. It is
to judge some as unable to meet basic human standards of behavior, or to doubt
that others might be capable of genuine sacrificial love. Many Catholics are
guilty of this contempt. This contempt, however, is not rooted in the
magisterial teaching of the Church but in the Catholicism practiced and
preached by most Catholics, lay and clerical, in the modern Western world. It
is the contempt of low expectations, a contempt whose current casualty is true
sexuality.
The
patrons of the Orlando nightclub dedicated to same-sex relationships were not
responsible for the demise of sexuality. They, themselves, were victims of its
demise long before the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12. They were the
victims of each one of us who bought into the lies of the misnamed Sexual
Revolution.
The Sexual Revolution was not about the transformation of sex but
the rejection of what is truly sexual. It cast itself in the aura of light and
love, but it was really about death and darkness from its very beginning.
Broken families, same-sex “marriage,” and gender confusion are the natural end
of a sexuality already rejected. They are not its cause.
Sexuality
is about the creation of life. Its very root is the biological marriage of
sperm and egg. This simple union creates life in the image of God and from this
union we are defined as male and female. In accepting the significance of two
complementary cells that create fully human life, a man and woman rise to the
fullness of love, gifting themselves for a good greater than themselves. In our
sexuality, in cherishing ourselves, and each other, as potential mothers and
fathers, we all participate in God’s creation.
The Sexual
Revolution rejected the creation of life as merely incidental to shared
pleasures. In rejecting life, it chose death. Real babies died real deaths at
clinics designed for death. Real men died real deaths from the ravages of AIDS.
In a society where cigarette companies were depicted as moral monsters, the
inherently deadly practice of sodomy was normalized. Beyond physical death was
moral death.
The Sexual Revolution brought the death of innocence, the death of
marriages, and the death of families. In rejecting sexuality, the Sexual
Revolution was really about the death of love itself, the death of the gift of
oneself freely given. No longer did we ask, “What can I give?” Rather, “What’s
in it for me?” called forth from every variation of erotic desire. There is no path
to love that begins with a question centered on self. The patrons of Orlando’s
tragic nightclub were victims of a revolution that held man himself in contempt
as one incapable of true love. They did not create the lies, they were victims
of the lies already lived by those whose sexual attractions were considered
normal.
The
parable of the talents makes clear that more is expected from he who is given
more. It is Catholics who always had more. It is Catholics who held the light
and love needed to answer the death and darkness of the Sexual Revolution.
While many were blinded by the golden calf of false love, it is Catholics who
were in the unique position to see the way toward the beauty and love of
sexuality truly lived. While many had no teaching to guide them, the Church
gave Catholics the light of Humane Vitae, a light shunned
as Catholics, en masse, turned toward darkness. Bishops,
priests, and lay people rejected as too difficult the call of our sexuality to
gift ourselves completely to another. In relegating Humanae Vitae to a
doctrine untaught, Catholics accepted the doctrine of the Sexual Revolution
that men and women were not capable of the call to love that God placed in
their very biology. Rather than invest our talent so it could grow in value, we
became the servant who buried his.
Humanae Vitae was
neither radical nor revolutionary but, instead, an affirmation and
clarification of existing Church doctrine. The Church always considered
marriage and the marital act sacred. Until 1930, Catholic and protestant were
united in this belief. At the 1930 Lambeth Conference the Anglican Church
approved sexual contraception in limited circumstances. Pope Pius XI responded
with the encyclical Casti Connubii, which
affirmed the marital act as sacred and artificial birth control as a violation
of its sanctity. In 1968, in response to the advent of the birth control pill,
Pope Paul VI in Humanae Vitae again asserted the
inviolability of the marital act and the iniquity of artificial birth control.
The Church understood what we chose not to understand, that contraception was
the rejection of our sexuality. Contraception does not enhance the marital
union. Rather, it allows us to step outside of our marriages, to take breaks
from the challenges of loving each other as sexual people. Contraception
literally takes the life out of sex. The sexual act purposely sterilized is no
longer really sex at all.
Contraception is the line crossed from sexuality to non-sexuality. It is the line crossed from meaning to meaninglessness. A marital act contracepted is a marriage contracepted, one with no meaning beyond its participants. It is an open invitation to others to redefine sex and marriage according to the desire of the day. When sexuality means nothing, all “sexualities” stand equal. All are equally meaningless. Instead of seeing and sharing the beauty of a true sexuality, we have largely remained silent.
Our
silence we portrayed as virtue, but it was false virtue. Under the guise of not
being judgmental we have judged men unworthy of truth and meaning. Under the
guise of mercy, a mercy meant to reflect well on ourselves, we have not restored
meaning to lives without meaning. Instead of shining a guiding light, we have
left the “forgiven” to wander lost in the desert. This is contempt for the man
God created and contempt for our very selves.
Our
contempt for those who died in Orlando was not in words spoken but in the
rejection of words we knew, words we chose not to speak with our voices or in
our lives. We Catholics are responsible for the recent tragedy, more so than
many others. In hiding our light under a bushel we have been complicit in the
destruction of human relationships. In not living our sexuality truly we have
participated in the destruction of the unity that comes from a sexuality fully
lived. The damage goes beyond human relations to the Church itself. Our
contempt was not only for ourselves but for a Church whose wisdom we rejected.
In rejecting Humanae Vitae Catholics have placed their
Church on indefensible ground. The proponents of the Sexual Revolution will
assert the high ground of love while attacking the Church as a perpetrator of
hate. What its members have already rejected, the Catholic Church will find
difficult to defend either in the public square or in the inevitable court
challenge it will meet. In our silence we have chosen a side, and it is the
wrong side.