The Danish Girl is nonsense. I would know. I was once a transgender woman.
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| Dr. Camille Cabral, une activiste des Transgenres à une manifestation pour les Trans à Paris en France (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
At
times, I felt as if I were trapped in the audience of a never-ending timeshare
resort sales pitch. When would the predictable sound bites be over?
The
Danish Girl is stuffed with fluffy,
gooey sentiments designed to convince “homophobic” or “transphobic”
heterosexuals that the painful twists and turns of a transgender person’s life
are really a healthy and courageous quest to embrace his or her true self. The
film overflows with familiar LGBT talking points. At a key moment, the lead
character exclaims, “I finally am who I am!”
The
Danish Girl, based on the novel of the same
name by David Ebershoff and directed by Tom Hooper, tells the story of Lilli
Elbe, one of the first known recipients of sex-reassignment surgery. The movie
stars Eddie Redmayne in the role of Einar Wegener/Lilli Elbe, the emerging
transgender female. Alicia Vikander costars as Gerda, his devoted wife, who
loves her husband deeply and remains faithful to him throughout the years of
his downward spiral.
Although
the acting was well-done, the film is ultimately little more than an LGBT sales
tool. It is true that transgender people are suffering. But what the film fails
to address is that, all too often, transgender patients continue to suffer even
after surgery, because their psychological problems remain untreated. I know
from first-hand experience, as I was once a transgender woman, and I regret my
sex-reassignment surgery.
The
Plot
The
movie is set in Denmark in the 1920s. When we first meet him, Einar, the
husband, is a stable, bright landscape artist with some success in the art
world. He exhibits no noticeable gender quirks or homosexual tendencies. Gerda,
also an artist, is an attractive woman who loves her husband, but she struggles
to gain recognition as an artist. They seem to be an ordinary couple in love.
Things
start to turn strange when Gerda is in need of a female model to complete a
painting. Gerda asks Einar to help her out by posing as a woman. Obviously,
this is the first time Einar has ever done this; he needs his wife’s guidance
to don the soft nylon stockings. Einar slips his feet into the lacy, too small
women’s sandals and adopts a feminine pose for the painting. He is a reluctant
helper, yet good-naturedly yields to Gerda’s wishes. They make it into a
playful game—a game that ends up going too far.
Gerda
is taken in by the excitement of Einar posing as a female. She encourages the
emerging female, whom they teasingly call Lilli, to be lovely and beautiful.
Gerda discovers her untapped artistic passion when sketching him and he, in
turn, is entranced by the drawings of himself as a woman. The trigger is
pulled. Einar falls in love with the way he looks dressed as a female. This is
not transsexualism but a sexual fetish, driven by the energy and excitement
Gerda’s encouragement has unsuspectingly tapped into. Einar sneaks off to
cross-dress privately and to explore the sexual allure of himself dressed in
the soft silky fabrics.
The
medical term for the behavior Einar is exhibiting—a man’s being sexually
aroused by the idea of being or becoming a woman—is “autogynephilia.” Einar exchanges his marital
love for his wife for self-love of an image in the mirror and on canvas.
The
play-acting reaches a new level when, for some reason, Gerda encourages her
husband to accompany her to an art showing in female guise. Gerda dresses Einar
with a wig, applies his makeup, and chooses an ensemble. Gerda coaches him how
to walk and carry himself as a woman. The night of the party, Gerda enjoys the
excitement of using Einar’s disguise to fool their acquaintances until she
catches him in a romantic kiss with a homosexual. Lilli is out of the gate,
running laps of pure joy, by the time Gerda finally sees what she has
unleashed.
Gerda
finds herself unsure of what to do with Lilli, whose unwanted and unannounced
appearances are becoming more frequent. Gerda reaches out to a friend of
Einar’s from childhood with whom Einar has lost contact. When she tells Einar
his friend wants to see him, Einar tells her about a long-forgotten incident
from his youth when his friend kissed him because he was “so pretty.”
The
movie relentlessly marches on to show Lilli’s step-by-step emergence, Einar’s
complete disappearance, and his abandoned wife’s anguish, loneliness, and
frustration as she grieves the loss of the man who was once her husband.
Watching the wife’s anguish reminded me of another movie, A
Beautiful Mind, in which a wife looks on powerlessly as her husband
tumbles deeper and deeper into mental illness.
Parallels
to My Life
The
experiences of my early childhood evoked
within me the same desires that awakened within Einar. In Einar’s case, the
childhood experience that influenced his later life occurred when his male
playmate kissed him because he looked “so pretty.” In my case, I had a
grandmother who secretly cross-dressed me starting at age four. She sewed
special dresses for me to wear and told me how pretty I was when I modeled them
for her.
Like
Einar, I married a woman and lived as a man. Like Einar, I cross-dressed in
secret and eventually began going out in public dressed as a woman. I, too,
felt energized by the experience. After some time, my desire to be a woman
grew stronger, and I felt I had no choice but to transition to “Laura” (the
name of my female persona) in order “to be who I am.” Like Lilli, I wanted to
kill my male identity so that Laura could live. That is why I underwent a full
surgical transformation.
Lilli
did not have the opportunity to live as a transgender female to see if living
life as a woman fulfilled her expectations and served as her path to peace. She
died from an infection a few days after the second reconstruction operation.
Today, transgender surgery techniques aren’t particularly life-threatening.
After undergoing sex-reassignment surgery, I lived as a transgender female for
eight years, some of the time working and living in San Francisco. Right after
surgery, like Einar, I was elated about finally having made the transition. Yet
the excitement soon wore off.
Over
time, I discovered that life as a woman could not give me peace. To my dismay,
I still fluctuated between being Walt and being Laura, sometimes several times
in one day. Whatever caused me to want to change my gender identity had not
been solved by sex-reassignment surgery or by living as a woman. I kept
searching for an answer.
An Accurate
Portrayal—To a Point
The
movie accurately portrayed the deep emotional and psychological problems that
transgender people experience, illustrating how infuriatingly difficult these
issues are to diagnose and treat. It did a good job in showing how gender
discomfort can start from a seemingly small incident in childhood and then grow
in adulthood into severe gender discomfort that eventually leads to
sex-reassignment surgery.
The
audience watches as Einar progresses from reluctantly cross-dressing to help
his wife with her painting, to being sexually aroused by the idea of dressing
in women’s clothing, to enjoying becoming Lilli and ultimately rejecting his
identity as Einar and his marriage to Gerda. Lilli fervently wants the genital
surgery, even at the risk of her life. Immediately after the surgery, Lilli
appears truly happy with her decision.
Most
transgender people would say this is true in their experience; in fact, I saw
this same progression in my life. However, because Lilli died after the second
surgery, the movie could only portray pre-transition longings and the immediate
effect of the surgery, not the long-term reality of life after the transition.
In my case, transition promised a good life, but after the initial euphoria
wore off, it delivered only despair. Until I determined to stop living as Laura
and to do whatever it took to be Walt, peace eluded me. Being open to being
restored to manhood changed everything.
When
a proper diagnosis of my dissociative disorder was made, the first effective
treatment could begin. It took several years, but as I persisted with the
treatment for dissociative disorder, my feelings of wanting to be a woman
dissolved until they were completely gone. I learned that sex-reassignment
surgery had not been necessary, but it was too late. My body was irreversibly
mutilated.
Disorders
Breed Disorders
The
usual diagnosis for patients who identify as transgender is “gender dysphoria.”
According to the DSM-5 (the latest edition of the Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), gender dysphoria is
characterized by a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed
gender and one’s biological sex, lasting at least six months. Although it isn’t
talked about much, studies show a majority of transgender patients suffer from
other comorbid (co-existing) disorders.
The
movie shows the comorbid disorders of Einar quite clearly. First, we see the
onset of autogynephilia, a mental sexual disorder in which Einar becomes the
object of his own affection in the identity of Lilli. After being nurtured and
indulged for a while, this escalates to a narcissistic obsession of
self-gratification at the expense of his relationship with his wife.
We
see Einar’s emerging desire to become the female in the paintings his wife
Gerda has so beautifully drawn. The yearning becomes an obsession. His powerful
new emotions change his view of himself as a man. Eventually, Lilli dissociates
from Einar, and two personae exist within one person. This is called a
dissociative disorder. Unchecked, Lilli takes total control and turns Einar
into the canvas picture of Lilli, the female.
Lilli
says Einar is dead and gone. That statement demonstrates a disorder rather than
reality, because Einar is standing there talking. I made similar statements
about Walt. I talked about wanting Walt’s death and conducting a proper funeral
service for Walt so Laura could live unencumbered by Walt. That is a disturbed
mind talking. As it turns out, I too had a comorbid disorder.
The
makers of The Danish Girl are clearly trying to sell the
popular idea that trapped inside of Einar all his life was a girl. Do not be
fooled by the “sales pitch.” Look a little closer, and you will see a
misunderstood and undiagnosed series of mental disorders that led Einar to
become Lilli, the transgender woman. Transgender people are not born that way;
they evolve from experiences that shape their emotions and desires.
Providing
Real Psychiatric Care
At
the end of the movie, as the credits rolled, I turned to the middle-aged lady
seated next to me and asked her what she thought. She replied, “It felt like
propaganda! I live in a neighborhood where people in need of psychiatric care
wander the streets, but no one is there to help them.”
In
a way, this description applies to transgender people as well: they are in need
of real psychiatric care, but they often have no one to help them. Over 60 percent of patients with gender dysphoria suffer from
the existence of comorbid disorders. These commonly include psychological or
psychiatric disorders such as dissociation, sexual fetishes such as
autogynephilia, and mood disorders such as depression. In nearly all cases,
these disorders could be resolved without any surgical intervention if patients
receive proper treatment, including psychotherapy and medication.
A 2011 survey found that 41 percent of transgender people
reported attempting suicide at least once. Unhappiness and suicides were first
reported in 1979 by a doctor at Harry Benjamin’s gender clinic, endocrinologist Dr. Charles
Ihlenfeld. After six years administering cross-gender hormone therapy to five
hundred transgender patients, Dr. Ihlenfeld said that 80 percent of the people
who want sex-reassignment surgery should not have it. The reason? The high
rates of suicide among the post-operative transgender population. More
startlingly, Dr. Ihlenfeld stated that transgender surgery was never intended
to be a life-long treatment solution, but only a temporary reprieve.
Although
their intentions may be good, many activists for transgender acceptance
actually keep transgender people from getting the help they need. Because
coexisting mental disorders are not treated properly, it is likely that high
suicide rates among the transgender population will continue.
In
one scene of The Danish Girl, a specialist diagnoses Einar with
paranoid schizophrenia. Before the doctor can come back with a team to lock him
away, Einar understandably runs away in fear of the barbaric treatment awaiting
him.
I
look forward to the day when today’s practice of endorsing sex-reassignment
surgery for all who express dissatisfaction with their birth gender is looked
upon as equally barbaric.
Walt
Heyer is an author and public speaker with a passion to help others who regret
gender change. Through his website, SexChangeRegret.com,
and his blog,WaltHeyer.com, Heyer
raises public awareness about the incidence of regret and the tragic
consequences suffered as a result. Heyer’s story can be read in novel form in Kid
Dakota and The Secret at Grandma’s House and in his
autobiography, A Transgender’s Faith. Heyer’s other books include Paper Genders and Gender, Lies
and Suicide. Reprinted
with permission from The Witherspoon Institute.
