Former JAG officer highlights absurdity of gay ‘marriage’ by suing to marry his porn-filled laptop
TALLAHASSEE, FL, May 6, 2014 – A former JAG officer attempted to intervene in two state cases to overturn traditional marriage laws, saying if homosexuals can marry their true love, he should have that right, too. In his case, the Florida man says he wants to marry his “porn-filled Apple computer.”
Two federal judges have rejected his request to become part of ongoing litigation aimed at overturning both Florida and Utah’s bans on same-sex “marriage.”
Chris Sevier, 37, an Iraq veteran who previously served as a JAG officer in the Tennessee Army National Guard, argued in his Florida filing that “If gay people have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object," namely, his laptop computer, which he uses to access pornography.
In his filing in the Utah case, Sevier dared the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals to, “Put up or shut up” regarding marriage redefinition.
“Those of us whose sexual orientation has been classically conditioned upon orgasm through the straight forward science of dopamine to prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals do not have public support, like the gays, so we are especially vulnerable here,” he said.
Both federal courts have tossed out Sevier’s case. But in rejecting Sevier’s lawsuits, neither federal judge addressed the parallels he drew between his inappropriate sexual attraction to his computer and other unusual sexual preferences such as homosexuality and bestiality.
Instead, Florida-based Judge Robert Hinkle wrote, “Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."
Sevier had previously sued Apple, Inc. over that same computer, arguing that the machine should have come standard with porn-blocking filters. He said that after stumbling across a pornographic website, he became hopelessly addicted to computer-aided self-gratification, ended his marriage, and is no longer sexually attracted to real women.
“Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” Sevier explained in the Florida filing. “Naturally, I 'fell in love' with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.”
Satirical or not, Sevier’s science is sound when he claims his pornographic addiction has left him with an unorthodox sexual preference he finds difficult to overcome. Studies have repeatedly shown that porn use leads to measurable changes in the brain, activating the same addiction and reward centers as alcohol and drugs.
From a scientific standpoint, Sevier’s claim that he “fell in love” with his laptop may not be as far-fetched as it sounds. Sex researcher Andrea Kuszewski told New York Magazine that when people have orgasms, their brains release a potent mixture of dopamine and oxytocin, the two chemicals responsible for pleasure (and addiction), and emotional bonding, respectively. Studies have shown that the dopamine rush acts like a drug, leading porn users to crave their next fix.
But the oxytocin gives them a powerful emotional bond to the source of the increased flow. Normally, that’s another human being. But for porn users, Kuszewski told NY Mag, it’s the porn itself.
“You’re bonding with it,” she said.
In Sevier’s case, he claims he bonded with his computer at the expense of his marriage to his wife – a sad but all-too-common occurrence, based on the multiple public testimonies of men who have said the same thing.
