Should a Christian attend a same-sex wedding ceremony?
It is tempting to think that our presence at the ceremony can be understood merely as an act of identification with the two people involved without giving moral approval to their union. But no one attends a wedding with a suspended moral judgment. And this is precisely the problem.
Attending a wedding ceremony always signals moral approval. This is why The Book of Common Prayer (which has provided the traditional ceremonial language known to millions of people throughout the centuries) contains the phrase that asks if anyone knows any cause that should prevent the marriage-"speak now; or else forever hold your peace."
These words reveal the historic function of the wedding ceremony as a gathering of celebrants who come together to grant moral approval to the union of two people in marriage. Attending a same-sex marriage ceremony is to grant a positive and public moral judgment to the union.
At some point, that attendance will involve congratulating the couple for their union. There will be no way to claim moral neutrality when congratulating a couple upon their wedding. If you cannot congratulate the couple, how can you attend? Some Christians may point to the example of Jesus, who regularly ate with sinners, as warrant for attending a same-sex ceremony. While Jesus clearly did extend table fellowship to those who were publicly known to be in sin, his constant call was to repentance.
In no case in the Gospels did Jesus ever allow his presence to endorse sin. Further, eating a meal with someone is not a celebration of any particular sin. When Jesus did appear at a wedding, as in the wedding of Cana in Galilee, his presence was intended to show moral approval. Attending a same-sex wedding today would send a very different signal from that set by Jesus in the Gospels.
