When abuse destroys identity: Billy’s story of ‘transition’ regret
Billy B.'s story is not exceptional or unique. Childhood sexual abuse is an experience common to many of those who write me with regret about changing genders. Stories like his have filled my email inbox for the last ten years. That's precisely why I asked him if I could share it. Billy remembers, as a young child, being curious about the differences between boys and girls, between him and his sister. In the first grade, as he looked around his classroom, he wondered where he belonged: with the boys or with the girls? Billy says his body told him he belonged with the boys, but his thoughts were telling him he belonged with the girls. Billy says the question arose for him because he had been dressing up as a girl at home, putting on his sister's makeup and earrings out of curiosity. This can be benign behavior that children grow out of, but in some situations, it can evolve into an escape into a fantasy world. Billy was a small skinny boy with a speech impediment . He w