I always thought I was born gay. Today, I’m a happily married dad.
I grew up believing myself to have been born gay having always, and only, had the most powerful, all-consuming, erotic attraction towards my own sex. Teenage years were hell. I often thought of suicide, occasionally self-harmed and had a growing problem with alcohol. I lived in a rural mining community in the north of England believing I would never be accepted among my own as a gay man , particularly as I watched a male cousin some ten years older than me – now deceased from a drug overdose – struggle to find his place as a gay man in the late 70s and early 80s among a society dominated by working men’s clubs. In floods of tears I came out to my parents when 17 years old. Dad and Mum were amazing. They said they had known I was gay and affirmed their unconditional love for me. My mates in high school also told me they had known I was gay and not only honoured me for coming out but affirmed me in what they too believed to be my true sexual orientation. My deepest fears rapi