Gay or Happy?
From elementary school on, I never fit in with the boys. I lived every day in a fantasy world of codependent fixation on other males. Hopelessness and self-hatred were my normal. I had no sexual desires for females; only for males. And by age 17, I was suicidal from the inner turmoil. Bouts of porn and compulsive masturbation were my medication of choice, and I was powerless to resist them. And, after years of desperate prayer & Christian psychotherapy, I had experienced zero change in my sexual desires…until I discovered some kingdom realities and my life in Christ became deeply experiential. Jesus died for our sexual wholeness and freedom. This is the story of how I got free. I BEGAN A PURSUIT OF MY TRUE SEXUAL IDENTITY IN 1987 WHEN MY BATTLE AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY GREW INTO INTENTIONS OF SUICIDE. Ten years of desperate prayer, counseling, and research yielded no change in my sexual desires. But after some encounters with God, the following years healed childhood trauma